This is the question I have been asking since I got here. Today, yes, today is the day why I know I am here. I really do not know how to identify myself. I did not know who I was. Wait rewind........I did know myself, I still do. I knew my personality,as I do now. I just didn't want to admit who I really was. I was afraid. But being afraid doesn't get you anywhere. Coming here to SDLC, I finally opened up. I finally can understand who I am.
This next part is really hard for me but I am as ready as I' ll ever be.
In this conference ,we split up into affinity groups. However you identified yourself, (Multiracial,Black/African American/Asian-American/Pacific/White/Caucasian/ LGBT etc.) , that was the group you went to. My affinity group was LGBT(lesbian,gay,bisexual,transgender, or transexual.). Now most of you can read between the lines or I can just tell you. I am bisexual and I am 100% okay with that. I am proud of that.It is who I am. I have hidden this secret for 2 years from everybody. That was really hard. I did not have anyone to talk to because of the fear of what they might think. Well, I do not care what anyone thinks anymore. It is part of who I am and if someone likes me already for who I am then my sexual orientation should not change that.
This affinity group was outstanding. These people were the nicest, most amazing and beautiful people I could have ever met. They were so accepting and for the first time coming out to anyone, they welcomed me.
There was this guy by the name of Javier, and he and I were really close. We bonded during the first night. Best person ever. He and I were paired up the whole time and we have learned so much about each other. We both agreed that coming out was a really hard thing to do because you do not know people's reactions. It is hard to be open because everyone automatically guess you are straight and if you are not straight , then you are different. But Javier and I know that we are not different. We are one in the same. My sexual orientation is not all of me , it is just a part of me and there is so much to me to learn that if someone bases their judgement on me from just that, then that person needs a reality check. It made me cry because I cannot even tell my best friends or my family that I am bisexual. They would would think I was lying or that I was crazy. Why can't I be just me? But honestly the people who truly like/love me will not give a shit about who I choose to love. I should not be neglected,frowned upon, or treated differently because of my sexual orientation. Javier and I both agree on this motto: God accepts everyone, He loves everyone. Do not discriminate against me , instead accept me and love me. Be my brother or my sister. Be there with me, do not be my enemy.
I am proud of you, Teisha. Be strong.
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